For Week #8 Rare: A Not So Small Life (Gen, G) by esteefee

[esteefee]

Title: A Not So Small Life
Author: esteefee
Categories: gen, character piece
Rating: G
Words: 415
Summary: John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary.


A Not So Small Life

by esteefee


John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary. He wasn't like Rodney with the big brained theories and the even bigger dreams of Nobels and being remembered for his work generations down the line.

John's father hadn't wanted it that way, but then, he and his dad hadn't seen eye to eye on a lot things and that was the biggest one, the one that tied it all up in a big knot.

John wanted to fly; that was it. He wanted to see things, but not be seen. He picked some pretty good camouflage, buddies like Ray, Little Moe, Mitch, Dex, Holland—guys that were bigger than big, the loudest guys in the room, and John provided the beer, the set-up, and sometimes, occasionally, the punch-line.

When John was good, he was really good—in the sky, no one could touch him. Fixed wings, helos—you name it, he could fly it.

But he had no ambitions on the ground, and his C.O.s all knew it. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Until he sat in that weird chair.

Until Atlantis.

John could blame a lot of things, if blame was the word he was looking for, late at night when he couldn't sleep for the pressure, for the walls closing in, the people he was responsible for, the deaths on his shoulders, the whole fucking galaxy he now had to defend. He could blame Sumner for getting caught, or O'Neill for sending him here to begin with; he could blame Rodney or Elizabeth for looking to him all the time as if he were The Guy, John Wayne with a P-90.

He could blame the gene that got him into this, that twist of code, of fate. One in a million or a billion, rare as the Star of India.

But John thought it was Atlantis herself, and the fact she could fly. A city that could fly—John thought, how could he fight that? Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone.

No place for him to hide.

John always figured he would live a pretty small life. That hadn't proven to be true.

If he was real lucky, though, maybe he'd survive long enough to die an ordinary death. An old man slipping in the bathtub at the age of eighty.

It was something to look forward to anyway, in between the crazy shit.

So John just smiled and kept on flying.


End.

Comments

[patk.livejournal.com]

Yes! I think that's precisely John Sheppard in a (not so small) nutshell and I really like how you found the right words for it.

"John always figured he'd live a small life; run-of-the-mill, pretty ordinary."

JoeF once said in an interview that he tried to introduce John Sheppard as an average "next-door" guy, someone who didn't think of himself as exceptional or who would strive to be a hero. Just a normal guy who was trying to do his best when struggling with the things thrown at him. Somebody who would have to grow into the new shoes of a life in Pegasus.

You captured that perfectly. :-)

[esteefee]

aw, see? I never read that interview, thank you for that, but that's definitely the way Joe played Sheppard, I think.

thank you kindly!

[thelibraniniquity]

That was wonderful, and Sheppard in a nutshell.

[esteefee]

thanks!

[juniperphoenix]

Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone.

Oooh. I need to turn this over and over in my brain like a shiny rock.

[esteefee]

:))))

[hoktauri]

YES exactly this! I was also going to quote this line, but you beat me to it! Wonderful capture of John Sheppard, esp that he surrounds himself with the loudest people and provides the beer and punch lines--that just, Sheppard right there. Love this a lot!

[mific.livejournal.com]

Lovely. I especially liked If he was real lucky, though, maybe he'd survive long enough to die an ordinary death.
Very Sheppard.

[esteefee]

thanks. it's a pretty awesome dream for him to have. kind of whimsically. :)

[jerusha]

This was such a lovely peek into Sheppard's head. There's always more going on in there than shows on the surface.

[esteefee]

oh, love your icon. thanks!

[esteefee]

aw, thanks caliecat! for coming over to the dark side momentarily. it's so swell to see you. :)))) I think you'd like these guys, but I understand if SciFi isn't your cup of tea.

[esteefee]

Dude, then I don't know how you missed us. :))) I was a huge Twilight Zone fan, too, although I could never find the Outer Limits...something about the channel they were syndicated on.

I still have creepy mannequin nightmares. :D

I can find you download links if you want to be pimped! It's never too late to fall in love with Sheppard's wacky hair and Rodney's crazy hands.

[gaffsie.livejournal.com]

That is very John.

[esteefee]

thanks, babe.

[stella-pegasi.livejournal.com]

You described the John Sheppard I think we all love....

Love this line: "Because even grounded, she was under his hands, bird-light and heavy as stone." What an apt description of Atlantis.

Loved this look at Sheppard's pysche...very well done.

[esteefee]

thanks, stella! love peeping into his head.

[dragonladyk.livejournal.com]

I really liked this. ^^

DragonLady

[esteefee]

thank you!

[melagan.livejournal.com]

Oh John

I think that last line sums John up beautifully.

[esteefee]

:)))))

[linziday.livejournal.com]

OMG, *love* this! You captured John so perfectly and yet drew out a part of his personality I rarely think about. (Perfect for the "rare" theme! ;0)

"He picked some pretty good camouflage, buddies like Ray, Little Moe, Mitch, Dex, Holland—guys that were bigger than big, the loudest guys in the room, and John provided the beer, the set-up, and sometimes, occasionally, the punch-line."

So true! And I've never seen it put that way before. Excellent!

[esteefee]

thank you! so awesome to find that little hook.

[fanficfan123.livejournal.com]

Enjoyed this . . . in some ways, I think, the team (loud Rodney, big Ronon, silver-tongued Teyla) are still providing "camouflage" for Shepherd. His provoking Rodney into paroxysms and then coming in witht a punchline also continues this pattern, acutely observed.

[patk.livejournal.com]

Brillant observation!

[esteefee]

I agree: totally fits the pattern. thanks for catching that!

[fanficfan123.livejournal.com]

Smile.

[scarym1.livejournal.com]

Lovely insight into John Sheppard. : )

I especially like the line near the end when he says he would like to die an ordinary death - an old man slipping in the bathtub at the age of eighty.

[lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!! So much love. Oh john sheppard.

[saphirablue]

Wow! Simply wow!

Thank you!

[scarlettandblue.livejournal.com]

I didn't think it was possible to adore John more, but I think, maybe you just made that happen!

I've always thought of him as a hiding in plain sight kind of guy, and that he was only really confident when he was in the air. And you described that so beautifully here. Gorgeous. thank you.

[ozsaur.livejournal.com]

Wonderful character piece!