[identity profile] stella-pegasi.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] sga_saturday
Title: Special Blend
Author: [livejournal.com profile] stella_pegasi
Het/Slash/Gen: Gen
Word count: 722
Disclaimer: I do not own them, I would have treated them better.
Summary: No one's happy when Rodney's not happy...about coffee.



SPECIAL BLEND

John Sheppard was sitting in his office attempting to complete a tardy mission report, when Dr. Radek Zelenka came sprinting in, slamming the door shut. The doctor's normally tousled hair was wilder than usual, his breathing coming in short labored breaths. He was clutching the coffee cup in his hand so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Doc, what's wrong; you look like you're running from someone's angry husband. What gives?"

"Je to blázen. Honil mě po celém Atlantis."

"Whoa, whoa, doc, English; my Czech is improving, but not when you are talking at warp speed."

Radek took a deep breath, "He is a crazy man; he is chasing everyone with a coffee cup in their hand around Atlantis."

Sheppard chuckled, "You're talking about Rodney; I take it."

Zelenka frowned, "Who else is crazy man around here. Ever since his stash of that special blend of coffee he ordered disappeared, he has been nuts. He is not getting any work done. He's just running around sticking his nose in everyone's coffee to see if it his special blend. If I hear those words one more time, I swear I will zabij toho blázen."

"Some how, Radek, I don't think I want to know what that means. I heard he was being a pest, I'll talk to him."

"Colonel, talking will not help, he needs to be put away. He made Miko cry, grabbed her cup out of her hand, spilling half of it. He took a drink from her cup, then shoved it back at her, and stalked off. We have coffee since the Daedalus is making regular supply runs; it's not like he isn't getting enough caffeine. He's just being a coffee diva."

Sheppard stifled a chuckle, "Radek; we can't put him away. Unfortunately, we need him. I promise I'll take care of this; we can't have the staff hiding from him."

Radek thanked him and left, but not before, he looked in both directions before stepping out into the corridor. Sheppard was still chuckling when his X-O, Major Evan Lorne, rapped on the doorframe. He jerked his head for Lorne to enter.

"Don't tell me, McKay."

"How'd you know, colonel?"

"That coffee stain on your jacket's a pretty big clue."

"Yes sir; McKay grabbed my cup in the mess hall, I had just poured it so the mug was full. Worse, he went after Sergeant Johnston's thermos in the gate room this morning. Johnston never leaves on a mission without his thermos of coffee. Sir, Dr. McKay is out of control."

"Major, I agree; anyone who attempts to interfere with a six-foot-five, two hundred and seventy-five pound Marine and his coffee, is out of control. I'll take care of this; go get changed. Weir likes us neat and tidy; don't want her wrath down on us, as well."

Sheppard watched as Lorne departed and then glanced down at his feet. The entire time Zelenka and Lorne had been in his office, he had been reclined back in his chair; laptop perched on his knees and his boots resting…on a cardboard box. It wasn't just any cardboard box; it was a box of specially blended coffee, the missing box of specially blended coffee.

McKay had been preening about the special coffee blend that he had ordered, but wouldn't share with his staff or anyone else, even Elizabeth. He had decided that the fussy scientist needed to suffer just a bit. However, enough was enough, he didn't like the fact that Miko had gotten so upset, or that McKay could have died, albeit, a justifiable death at the hands of Sergeant Johnston.

Sighing, Sheppard decided that he would figure out a way to distract McKay long enough to sneak back into his quarters and place the box back in McKay's closet, just a bit deeper than it had been when he removed it. Then he would confront McKay, demand to search his room, because no one would have taken his precious coffee, and discover the box, deep in the closet.

Oh, yeah, Sheppard thought; this is going to be fun. He not only had the pleasure of watching Rodney's angst over the loss of his special coffee, but he could rag him about accusing everyone when he just didn't look hard enough for the box. Yeah, this was definitely going to be fun.

Date: 2011-05-29 06:45 am (UTC)
esteefee: Shep pointing his Beretta at the camera. (big_gun)
From: [personal profile] esteefee
hahaha, omg. COFFEE ANGST. I need that icon.

John Sheppard is purely evil. I love the image of Rodney accosting a giant marine, btw. he so totally would.

Date: 2011-05-29 07:25 am (UTC)
saphirablue: (John reading)
From: [personal profile] saphirablue
*grins* John, you sly dog. Just hope that Rodney never finds out! :)

Thank you for this fic!

Date: 2011-05-29 12:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mific.livejournal.com
That John - he's in so much trouble!

Date: 2011-05-29 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stargatesg1971.livejournal.com
LOL...love it! I especially liked the coffee diva statement *g*.

Date: 2011-05-30 07:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stargatesg1971.livejournal.com
Your welcome.

Date: 2011-05-30 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jade-1459.livejournal.com
LOL! Coffee Diva! I love it :D

Date: 2011-05-30 04:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilyfarfalla.livejournal.com
Oh man, I cannot even think about the retribution that will rain down on John's head when Rodney uncovers his plot. Coffee diva is pretty hilarious too!

Date: 2011-06-04 10:37 am (UTC)
trillingstar: walkabout | Harold, head bent down, playing the guitar as he walks in the countryside. Reads: Sing Out (sga john copper)
From: [personal profile] trillingstar
Loved the visual of a raving Rodney going after Johnston's thermos, and John's wicked, wicked plan. Hee!

Date: 2011-06-04 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scarlettandblue.livejournal.com
Oh John is the evilest!!!
But couldn't help the little smirk at the idea of John rummaging around in Rodney's closet, just thinking about what he might find out...

Date: 2011-06-04 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scarlettandblue.livejournal.com
Maybe Rodney keeps his most secretest diary there. The one where he writes how much he loves wicked!evil!John even when he's wickedly evil and even more when he's evily wicked....

Date: 2011-06-04 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-varda-x.livejournal.com
Ahahahahaha poor Rodney! Bad John!

Date: 2011-06-23 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] titan5.livejournal.com
This is hilarious!! And what's bad is I can SO see Sheppard doing this to McKay and for exactly that reason. Awesome!!!

Date: 2011-08-14 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] hoktauri
Oh. My God. That's just-- I DIED. "He's just being a coffee diva." Srsly funny. This is full of teh LULZ. And John had it the whole time! Ah! Coffee angst! Hilariously brilliant.

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